Here's my list of some favorite reference books on illness and loss, as well as spiritual and creative growth: (please keep checking back as I add more...)

Families learn to live with autistic children
By PAIGE LAUREN DEINER The Monitor

Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankel

To Begin Again: The Journey Toward Comfort, Faith and Strength in Difficult Times,
by Rabbi Naomi Levy

Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life, by Phillip Simmons

Close to the Bone: Life Threatening Illness and the Search for Meaning,
by Jean Shinoda Bolen

What the Living Do, by Marie Howe

A Walk Between Heaven and Earth, by B. Nina Holzer

Leaf and Cloud, by Mary Oliver
Books by Pema Chodron:

Comfortable With Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion
Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

The Sibling Slam Book: What It's Really Like to Have a Brother or Sister With Special Needs, by Don Meyer

In the Shadow of Illness: Parents and Siblings of the Chronically Ill Child,
by Myra Blueblood-Langner
The Empty Room: Surviving the Loss of a Brother or Sister at Any Age ,
by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn
Sibling Grief: Healing After the Death of a Sister or Brother, by P. Gill White
Madhouse: Growing up in the Shadows of Mentally Ill Siblings, by Clea Simon

The Complete Family Guide to Schizophrenia: Helping Your Loved One Get the Most Out of Life, by Kim T. Mueser, Susan Gingerich

Marry Your Muse: Making a Lasting Committment to Your Creativity, by Jan Phillips

God Is At Eye Level: The Healing Art of Photography, by Jan Phillips

Healing Through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear and Despair by Miriam Greenspan (Go to www.miramgreenspan.com to read excerpts)

Armfuls of Time by Barbara Sourkes (available on Amazon.com)

The Deepening Shade: Psychological Aspects of Life Threatening Illness by Barbara Sourkes, PhD (available on Amazon.com)

Spirituality, Suffering and Illness: Ideas for Healing by Lorraine M. Wright, RN, PhD

Beliefs: The Heart of Healing in Families and Illness (1996) by Drs. Lorraine M. Wright, Wendy L. Watson and Janice M. Bell

The Private Worlds of Dying Children by Myra Bluebond-Langer

Shelter From the Storm: Caring for a Child with a Life-Threatening Condition by Joanne Hilden

Building Healing Partnership: Professionals, and Children with Chronic Illnesses and Disabilities by Patricia Taner Leff

Siblings of Disabled Have Their Own Troubles
By GRETCHEN COOK
Many support outlets are intended for disabled children themselves or for their parents, often leaving their siblings overlooked.